How to Break Down to Get Up
Have you ever had that feeling like you want the world to stop spinning just so you can get a breathing space?
This happened to me last week. Tired for no good reason, angry at myself for not being a good mother and feeling guilty of a thousand other things, I broke down one dinner time over this: finding out that Liam failed his Math exams, and Levi banging his head against mine because I did not took notice of his antics.
I always took pride in being a mom-of-all trades, so realizing that my priorities are slipping out of my hands made my throat dry and my heart hurt.
How do I deal with this? I don’t know. But the thing I knew is, I have to do something. This ‘life fatigue’ is starting to take its toll on my kids and in many aspects of my life, my health included.
The first thing I decided is that I will not be just a problem dweller, I will be a problem solver. I sat down and wrote my priorities in order, what is stressing me out, what I wanted to work out and what needs fixing. Then I narrowed it down to three things:
I decided that this week, I will be focusing on time only. Time for my family, time for work, time for myself and for Rush and I.
We went to Quezon last week to have some good old family time and had so much fun! It’s a trip that we would have forgone had we thought about the time and money we’ll burn… but God is good and gave us the provisions we need!
I’ll admit, I am still struggling with time. I am still zoning out, thinking about problems, or browsing Facebook, wondering how others seem to be gliding effortlessly through life. But now that I am more aware of this, I snap my fingers at myself and think of my promise to myself each time, that I will do good by and for my family, no matter what life throws at me.
This is just the first of my priorities and I’d love to improve in all aspects of my life. Have you been in the same kind of rut and managed to survive? If so I’d love to hear how you did it. Let’s take this journey together!